Young, old, tall, short, curvy and slender-- women of all kinds are traveling more than ever in this age of female empowerment and opportunity (YAASSSS LADIES). And this concept has received quite a bit of attention from the media, in both positive and negative ways. We now read and hear stories of both strength and horror, hope and pain. As a single, female, white, American traveler, I have pretty immediately encountered an interesting dynamic while adventuring alone. One one side of the equation, there is this fierce desire for independence, change, and freedom-- a chance to prove to yourself and to the rest of the world that you are strong/capable enough to take care of yourself out there. On the other side, there is quite a bit of fear, worry, anxiety, and overzealous preparation for any possible catastrophe. It's exhausting.
Traveling abroad alone, I spend an equal amount of time with both sides. Part of me is ready to take on the world, meet new people, and prove that I am stronger than the sexism, the harassment, the discouragement. However, another part of me leaves my little Florentine apartment everyday quietly wondering if today will be the day that I am the unfortunate woman announced missing on national news because the wrong people noticed me. Just the other day, the New York Times published an article on single female travelers that, while very informative, definitely contributed to that night's bad sleep.
To be completely honest, being a young woman makes my traveling experiences both extremely challenging/ stressful, but also rewarding/ unique. I have yet to decide whether that is a good or bad thing. I don't have any super deep observations to make in this post, but rather, I just wanted to share with you all a little bit of my personal experiences traveling as a young woman abroad.
(Keep in mind that all the experiences and thoughts below are also strongly impacted by my race, my age, my ethnicity, how I look, how I speak, etc. etc. etc- i.e: these things haven't just happened because of my gender/sex)
(Also, I am only speaking from my perspective and my point of view- every single person has their own perspectives on the things I talk about below)
1.) Men and woman in general find it easier to interact with me and my girlfriends than with my guy friends, which obviously has its pros and cons.
When traveling, or when walking around Florence, I do receive a lot of attention. and most of it is usually not wanted. I cannot tell you all how many times I have been whistled at, cat-called, and followed. I have gotten very good at ignoring the comments, or putting on as mean a face as I can, in the hopes that I won't be noticed or called out. It's pretty tiring to deal with day in and day out. There are times when men will just come up to me and pester me with random questions, not caring to consider if they are interrupting something I am doing or if I don't actually want to talk to them (what a shocking concept). My friends and I are often stopped by guys asking us questions about ourselves, irregardless of what we might be doing at that time, and will not leave until we either give them answers or run from them (which we have done a few times- ya girl could be a track star soon). I've started to develop a pretty convincing fake identity whenever I am approached by random men (my alter ego's name is Lauren. She's from Ottawa, Canada and she has a boyfriend in the Navy Seals--it works like a charm every time).
On the bright side, I feel that being a young woman with my kind of personality (because not every woman is like me obviously) makes me a much more approachable person, and that has resulted in some extremely fascinating and wonderful interactions. I have met so many new people partly because they are comfortable enough to approach and talk to me. Being a woman gives me an advantage when meeting people, women specifically. If I was a man, I don't think that I would have met Beatrice from Spain, a couple from India, or a mother and daughter from Asia.
2.) Traveling abroad as a young woman makes you extra cautious.
This is both exhausting and rewarding. Being a young woman, I am EXTREMELY aware of what bad things could happen to me at any moment. My friends and I spend so much time planning out preventative measures before we go anywhere. We are constantly watching over each other, making sure that no one travels alone, having check-in buddies, etc. etc. There are things we think about that our male peers (generally) don't even consider. And it is so exhausting. It honestly feels like a full-time job trying to make sure you are safe when you travel. There should be SO MANY more women in the security/protection work force because most women are experts by the time they're fifteen lol.
But being extra sensitive to safety issues also means that I am...well... extra safe. Or at least as safe as I can possibly be within my own power.
3.) Adventuring alone teaches you how to be brave.
You ever heard that phrase "strong, independent woman"? Well-whoever you are- if you want to become one, an excellent way to do so is to travel alone, because you are forced to become one quickly. I have been a push-over for a good part of my life- someone who wants to keep everyone happy, even if at the cost of my own comfort. After this study abroad experience, I don't think that's as much the case any more. I don't worry so much about some random man's feelings if I tell him to get the heck away from me. I am more vocal now about what makes me uncomfortable. I have learned to advocate for myself more, because if I didn't learn it, safety would be much more challenging. These lessons would probably have not been learned quite so early in life if I had not started traveling alone.
4.) There is more pressure on women to blend in to the culture.
I have noticed, both in comments by my Italian friends and in actions of vendors and locals here that women are much more pressured to conform to their respective culture's standards than men are. A friend of mine from Ukraine, for example, told me of a time a street vendor tossed a 5 cent coin at her, stating she was barely worth that much money because of how shamefully she presented herself (she was wearing a skirt to her knees). When I am traveling, it is generally for my own safety and peace-of-mind that I try to dress and adhere as closely to the culture as possible.
Having such external pressure to blend into the culture can be a positive thing, however, in that it makes it much easier to begin to acclimate to your new surroundings and make friends. If I were to behave in my fully-American way here in Italy, I don't think that I would have met nearly so many Italians. Having that kind of pressure forces me to become more culturally aware.
There are honestly so many more observations and stories I could put down here, but the top four are the most prominent experiences that I have had this semester. What I have experienced abroad will probably be extremely different from what a woman of color or an older woman might experience while traveling alone. I don't speak for every woman, just from my own perspective. Traveling alone is really scary sometimes. And that fear can make it exhausting: you are on edge every hour of every day. Reading about the sexual assaults, kidnappings, and murders of female travelers doesn't make that fear any less at all. But, as with most things in life, f
ear cannot be stronger than willpower, or else life is not lived to the fullest. I would not be growing so much, meeting such interesting people, or seeing the beauty of this earth if I let that worry be all-consuming. I just felt like giving ya'll my take on the matter.
Until next time,
Leah