Departure Shenanigans

    I don't know about you guys, but for me, the pre-departure is much more difficult than the actual departure. You see, once you've departed, you've started. The light has turned green, the gate has opened, the race has begun. There is no turning back. (Figuratively of course, one could always book a flight back home but that choice of action is simply too costly to even consider!)

    Pre-departure, however, holds all of the emotions, and those tricky buggars are truly a pain in the...rear. There is the anxiety of the unknown, stress of preparation, pangs of homesickness, and worst of all- the goodbyes. They rip at the heart strings. I know I struggled not to blubber like a baby when I was saying goodbye to amazing friends and family. Goodness knows I'd be a wreck if I was leaving for any longer than 15 weeks. 

    My travels went off with mostly no hitches. Of course, as per usual, I was pulled over by TSA-bless them. It's become a tradition that I have resigned myself to-- always being pulled over by TSA when I am traveling by myself. Apparently I strike a very dangerous figure. (Although the one time I *accidentally* brought pepper spray through security justified being pulled aside). Now, I'd hoped by adopting a more "good ole' American soccer mom" hair cut that I'd avoid such suspicion, but alas, I was caught yet again. Apparently, traveling with a pound (yes, one pound) of dark chocolate in your carry on is unusual? Well, what can I say. A girl needs her comfort food! 

    But.. there is a silver lining to my unfortunate adventures: my seven hour transatlantic flight (normally a horribly claustrophobic affair, being stuffed in those massive planes like oversized sardines) was quite pleasant! I truly lucked out and got an entire row to myself! And believe me, I made myself at home. It will probably be the closest I get to flying first class (i.e. flying with adequate leg room) for a very long time. It was also on this flight that I think I found the quote I wish to center these next few months around, courtesy of the charming movie/book "Eat, Pray, Love" :

"If you are brave enough to leave behind all those familiar comforts and truly set out on a truth seeking journey, whether externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, if you accept everyone along the way as a teacher, and, if you are prepared, most of all, to face ad forgive some very hard truths about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you. "

  I have made it safely to Florence and will write more about it later- mostly dead and exhausted but breathing. Let's see what this city has to offer! 

                                    -Leah 

Pre-Departure: Battle with Mr. 'What If...'

A week from tomorrow, I'll be flying off to Florence, Italy! Exciting right? 

      Well, the closer that adventure gets, the stronger my life long enemy, Mr. 'What If...' grows.  I don't know if you a have ever become as closely aquatinted with 'What If...' as I have, but let me tell you right now- the annoying bugger is definitely not someone to become BFF's with. This is usually what our conversations about my upcoming adventure look like: 

Me: Wow! Florence! I'm so excited!
What If: Oh you are? Well... what if:
     You forget to get all the official documents and get locked out of Italy
     You don't make any friends
     Your stuff gets damaged, stolen or lost
     YOU get damaged, stolen, or lost
     You waste this experience
     You're miserable the whole time
     You don't even get to go to Florence because your own GOVERNMENT can't get it's *stuff*        
                         together long enough to ensure safe air travel because it is still *SHUT DOWN*  (@realDonalTrump - I'm looking at you for that one buddy)

Now, in reading that list, intellectually, all of them except for the final one, could be considered a slight over-dramatization and speedy downward spiral. But, emotionally, the entire list of 'What If's...' presents very real worries that aren't going away. I realize I am being *slightly* dramatic about it all. I'm only going to be gone for four months. It's not that big of a deal. But these 'What If's...' are a very big deal to me right now, so I figured I'd share them with you.

The question is, am I going to let Mr. 'What If...' psych me out before I've even left? Or am I going to crush the bastard as soundly as I crushed that delicious meat lovers pizza I ate last night?

Thanks to my counselor, I've discovered a useful tool in winning this mental battle. Instead of ignoring the 'What If's...' in order to win, I simply have to change the kind of 'What If's' I listen to.
For example:

Me: Wow! Florence! I'm so excited!
What if: Oh you are? Well...what if:
     You over-prepare and have everything you need x3
     You make some closer, adventurous, wonderful friends
     You and your things make it through the experience in one piece
     You have a BLAST

     Your government sucks it up, stops throwing a very expensive temper tantrum, and starts                                                functioning properly again (still looking at you, Mr. Prez) 

As the struggle for a more positive inner narrative rages on, I continue to make ungodly amounts of lists and preparation for the upcoming adventure. Here's to hoping I don't loose my sanity in the process.

Until next time,
Leah  

Pre-Departure

January 9, 2019 - America     
   
    During a college student's nurturing years in the higher education system, there are a few memorable moments when their inner voice/consciousness simply stops functioning and instead elects to... well... *shriek internally*. I consider this to be the point when the system malfunctions, must release built up tension, and reboot before it can continue to serve its purpose of guiding and advising that young person. 

    This past week, for me, has been a near 24 hour cycle of *shrieking internally* as it begins to dawn on me what I got myself into. Living and studying in Florence, Italy for four months is no small task. Especially when considering the only Italian I have under my belt is: ciao, fettuccini and pizza. Yikes. The program that I am studying through, API, kindly sent me a rather lengthy orientation packet to go through before flying across the Atlantic. This orientation is meant to guide us clueless Americans, helping us to be as prepared as possible to not do anything stupid while we are in Italy. This packet touches on pretty much everything, from discovering your cultural identity, to reading more about the (30+) political parties in Italy, to keeping alcohol consumption in check. (Apparently, American students are infamous for getting wasted while in Europe.. how surprising).  It's all quite informative. And overwhelming. Thus the *shrieking internally*...Anyone have any Advil?  

    API has also encouraged us to write down goals and fears that we have for this experience. Below are some of the things that I consider to be worthy of achievement or worry. Hopefully knowing other people are aware of these goals and fears will keep me on task to conquering them. 

Goals: 

• Learn how to interact with different beliefs, perspectives, personalities, and cultures. 
• Take advantage of, appreciate, and explore as many different places that I can. 
• Connect with the history of my passion (art) in a very real way. 
• Learn to relax, slow it down, and enjoy living in each precious moment. 
• Diversify my circle of friends and branch as far out as possible. 
• Develop the self-confidence I need to be a fully independent woman and pursue the adventures I dream about in the future. 
• Find my inspiration again and create beautiful works of art. 

Fears: 

• I won't take full advantage of my time overseas and will waste the days away. 
• Homesickness will get in the way of enjoying this experience.
• Safety (obviously) 
• Running out of funds (Poor college student + Europe = very empty bank account)
• Culture shock

    Let's see how well these play out during my next few months abroad. 

    In this blog, I hope to write at least two times a month, keeping whoever is interested up to date about my exploits. I've never blogged before, so if I ramble, I apologize. I am not known for being reserved. I also am going to try to post most of my photos on this blog instead of social media, if I can figure out how to do so. Feel free to ask questions, provide suggestions on how I can make this an easier read, or reach out in any way if you feel so inclined. 

    Living in another country has been an almost lifelong dream. Now that it is about to come to fruition, that dream has become a little terrifying. But, I can't live my life hoping to follow my dreams in an abstract, undefined future. In the words of Timothy Ferriss " 'Someday' is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you". Cheers to not letting this dream happen 'someday'. 

Addio, 

      Leah