On Being a Woman

   
    Young, old, tall, short, curvy and slender-- women of all kinds are traveling more than ever in this age of female empowerment and opportunity (YAASSSS LADIES). And this concept has received quite a bit of attention from the media, in both positive and negative ways. We now read and hear stories of both strength and horror, hope and pain. As a single, female, white, American traveler, I have pretty immediately encountered an interesting dynamic while adventuring alone. One one side of the equation, there is this fierce desire for independence, change, and freedom-- a chance to prove to yourself and to the rest of the world that you are strong/capable enough to take care of yourself out there. On the other side, there is quite a bit of fear, worry, anxiety, and overzealous preparation for any possible catastrophe. It's exhausting.

   Traveling abroad alone, I spend an equal amount of time with both sides. Part of me is ready to take on the world, meet new people, and prove that I am stronger than the sexism, the harassment, the discouragement. However, another part of me leaves my little Florentine apartment everyday quietly wondering if today will be the day that I am the unfortunate woman announced missing on national news because the wrong people noticed me. Just the other day, the New York Times published an article on single female travelers that, while very informative, definitely contributed to that night's bad sleep.

    To be completely honest, being a young woman makes my traveling experiences both extremely challenging/ stressful, but also rewarding/ unique. I have yet to decide whether that is a good or bad thing. I don't have any super deep observations to make in this post, but rather, I just wanted to share with you all a little bit of my personal experiences traveling as a young woman abroad.

(Keep in mind that all the experiences and thoughts below are also strongly impacted by my race, my age, my ethnicity, how I look, how I speak, etc. etc. etc- i.e: these things haven't just happened because of my gender/sex)
(Also, I am only speaking from my perspective and my point of view- every single person has their own perspectives on the things I talk about below)


1.)  Men and woman in general find it easier to interact with me and my girlfriends than with my guy friends, which obviously has its pros and cons.

    When traveling, or when walking around Florence, I do receive a lot of attention. and most of it is usually not wanted. I cannot tell you all how many times I have been whistled at, cat-called, and followed. I have gotten very good at ignoring the comments, or putting on as mean a face as I can, in the hopes that I won't be noticed or called out. It's pretty tiring to deal with day in and day out. There are times when men will just come up to me and pester me with random questions, not caring to consider if they are interrupting something I am doing or if I don't actually want to talk to them (what a shocking concept). My friends and I are often stopped by guys asking us questions about ourselves,  irregardless of what we might be doing at that time, and will not leave until we either give them answers or run from them (which we have done a few times- ya girl could be a track star soon). I've started to develop a pretty convincing fake identity whenever I am approached by random men (my alter ego's name is Lauren. She's from Ottawa, Canada and she has a boyfriend in the Navy Seals--it works like a charm every time).

    On the bright side, I feel that being a young woman with my kind of personality (because not every woman is like me obviously) makes me a much more approachable person, and that has resulted in some extremely fascinating and wonderful interactions. I have met so many new people partly because they are comfortable enough to approach and talk to me. Being a woman gives me an advantage when meeting people, women specifically. If I was a man, I don't think that I would have met Beatrice from Spain, a couple from India, or a mother and daughter from Asia.


2.) Traveling abroad as a young woman makes you extra cautious.

    This is both exhausting and rewarding. Being a young woman, I am EXTREMELY aware of what bad things could happen to me at any moment. My friends and I spend so much time planning out preventative measures before we go anywhere. We are constantly watching over each other, making sure that no one travels alone, having check-in buddies, etc. etc. There are things we think about that our male peers (generally) don't even consider.  And it is so exhausting. It honestly feels like a full-time job trying to make sure you are safe when you travel.  There should be SO MANY more women in the security/protection work force because most women are experts by the time they're fifteen lol.

    But being extra sensitive to safety issues also means that I am...well... extra safe. Or at least as safe as I can possibly be within my own power.


3.) Adventuring alone teaches you how to be brave.

    You ever heard that phrase "strong, independent woman"? Well-whoever you are- if you want to become one, an excellent way to do so is to travel alone, because you are forced to become one quickly. I have been a push-over for a good part of my life- someone who wants to keep everyone happy, even if at the cost of my own comfort. After this study abroad experience, I don't think that's as much the case any more. I don't worry so much about some random man's feelings if I  tell him to get the heck away from me. I am more vocal now about what makes me uncomfortable. I have learned to advocate for myself more, because if I didn't learn it, safety would be much more challenging. These lessons would probably have not been learned quite so early in life if I had not started traveling alone.


4.) There is more pressure on women to blend in to the culture.

   I have noticed, both in comments by my Italian friends and in actions of vendors and locals here that women are much more pressured to conform to their respective culture's standards than men are. A friend of mine from Ukraine, for example, told me of a time a street vendor tossed a 5 cent coin at her, stating she was barely worth that much money because of how shamefully she presented herself (she was wearing a skirt to her knees). When I am traveling, it is generally for my own safety and peace-of-mind that I try to dress and adhere as closely to the culture as possible.

    Having such external pressure to blend into the culture can be a positive thing, however, in that it makes it much easier to begin to acclimate to your new surroundings and make friends. If I were to behave in my fully-American way here in Italy, I don't think that I would have met nearly so many Italians. Having that kind of pressure forces me to become more culturally aware.



     There are honestly so many more observations and stories I could put down here, but the top four are the most prominent experiences that I have had this semester. What I have experienced abroad will probably be extremely different from what a woman of color or an older woman might experience while traveling alone. I don't speak for every woman, just from my own perspective.             Traveling alone is really scary sometimes. And that fear can make it exhausting: you are on edge every hour of every day. Reading about the sexual assaults, kidnappings, and murders of female travelers doesn't make that fear any less at all. But, as with most things in life, fear cannot be stronger than willpower, or else life is not lived to the fullest. I would not be growing so much, meeting such interesting people, or seeing the beauty of this earth if I let that worry be all-consuming. I just felt like giving ya'll my take on the matter.

Until next time,
Leah


 
 
 

'Ugly' Churches and New Friends

    There are three things in life that you apparently cannot escape:

          Death 

          Taxes

          John Denver 

    Y'all. This blessed man haunts me wherever I go. I literally flew across the Atlantic Ocean to escape his deceptively soothing serenade. His Mountain Mamma ballad has bedeviled my every footstep since coming to Europe. I am not exaggerating when I say that in EVERY SINGLE COUNTRY that I have visited thus far, I have heard "Country Roads" at LEAST once. When I tell people I am from West Virginia, they actually know where I am talking about because of that blessed song. When I go to a bar, guess which tune always makes the queue?

      And how do I feel about this unexpected situation..? Well... conflicted. At first, there was anger. Then annoyance. And now, resignation and acceptance (with perhaps a *tinge* of homesickness mixed in there). I just thought I'd update you on the situation in Europe. 

    Things here have been going wonderfully. I am getting fat n' happy on gelato and croissants. But I am not here today to write about my food-ventures. I wanted to share a little bit about Spring Break! A week ago, eight of us hopped over to Barcelona, Spain for break. With a full itinerary and an empty bank account, we spent the week exploring as much that beautiful city as we could. We had the opportunity to visit some pretty breathtaking sites, including Park Guell (a park for rich people designed by Antoni Gaudi that reminded me of a real life Dr. Seuss world), Monserrat (a beautiful monastery at the top of a big mountain), and the Pablo Picasso Museum. But I wanted to tell you about two experiences I had over break that really changed my outlook on may different aspects of my life and that I hope you will find as powerful and intriguing as I did.

(Park Guell Building) 

    La Sagrada Familia:

     Below are photos of La Sagrada Familia, an unfinished Roman Catholic Church designed by Catalan architect Antonin Gaudi. I say unfinished because this church has literally been under construction for over a century. And you can really see that on the facade of the church. The architectural styles on different parts of the building contrast so starkly against each other, vividly depicting each artistic age that they were constructed during. What struck me about this church, however, was that it was probably one of the ugliest and yet most beautiful churches I think I have seen here in Europe. The oldest part of the church--designed by Gaudi-- is, in my very humble opinion, a mess. It literally looks like someone took a blowtorch and melted the marble. I mean, come on Gaudi, what were you doing? (To all the Gaudi lovers out there, sorry not sorry)

(Yikes) 

    I was mentally preparing myself for what I assumed would be a similar mess on the inside of the church, which explains why I was so utterly shocked upon entering it. The inside of La Sagrada Familia was simply breathtaking. Its clean, crisp white marble pillars were splashed with impossibly vibrant colors created by sunlight seeping through stained glass windows on all sides of the church. It made me feel as though I had stepped into a massive kaleidoscope. The painter in me practically fainted every time I looked at a window. 

 

                                         

 

    New Friend:

    A few days after La Sagrada Familia, we decided to spend a peaceful day at the beach. It soon became quite evident that such a day might not be possible, as the beach was filled with vendors selling all kinds of wares: rugs, blankets, towels, drinks, snacks, and toys. It was like a portable Dollar General. 

    Later that day, I decided to get some sketching done while the rest of my friends grabbed lunch. I sat on my towel and worked on unfinished drawings in my sketchbook for a bit, soon noticing that someone was watching me draw. I looked behind my shoulder and noticed one of those vendors standing nearby, looking over my shoulder at my sketchbook. Now, its not unusual for people to come up and watch me draw (that is a whole other blog post, I can't wait to tell y'all about it), so I just kept working, hoping he wouldn't try to sell me anything. After five minutes or so, he spoke up, complementing my sketches and asking me how I had captured the shapes and shadows. He admitted that he was also an artist,  yet he struggled to accurately depict his subjects on paper. The conversation flowed on like a river from there. 

    We talked about SO many things y'all it was SO COOL.  This man had been working in Spain for the past three months as a street vendor. He used to own a leather market back home in Pakistan, but business became bad due to a rising demand for more synthetic materials, so he had moved to Italy to look for work instead. After spending six months in Italy, he bounced to Germany, and finally landed in Spain. When I asked him what he thought about Americans, he told me that they were some of his favorite tourists because of how friendly and open-minded they were. He told me that they generally treated him with the most respect when he was selling things. (Brownie points for America WOO). I asked him how he felt about being a vendor in a foreign land, if he found his job to be particularly challenging or not. He replied that yes, his job was very difficult, specifically because of how he was treated by people as an A.) street vender, and B.) Middle-Eastern, Muslim man. Sometimes, people would treat him politely.  If he approached, they would simply say no thank you. But other times, people would treat him with unbelievable rudeness, even going so far as to yell at and chase him. Yet, despite such treatment, he calmly declared that he loved the life he was living, and he loved the job he had. 

    Then the conversation turned to more existential matters. We talked about the pursuit of money and how quickly it could steal joy from your life. We talked about the different interactions we have both had with racism in our respective cultures and backgrounds. I told him more about West Virginia and he told me about Pakistan. My favorite topic was on friendship. "You see," he stated, "friends are like stones and diamonds. Some friends in your life are stones- ugly, heavy, and inconvenient. When you carry them around, they simply make life heavier. Other friends, however, are like diamonds. They are beautiful, precious, enriching, and very very rare. You treasure those diamonds when you find them and keep them close to your heart." (How many stones and diamonds do you all have in your life?)

   I mean... y'all... IT WAS SO COOL. I'm geeking out just thinking about this: a girl from Philippi, West Virginia having a deep conversation with a dude from Pakistan on the sandy beaches of Barcelona, Spain. It doesn't get more intercultural than that. 

    The two experiences I described taught me some pretty basic, and necessary, life lessons. The most prominent of them was this: 

If you take things at face value and immediately accept the bias that you have without questioning it, you will lose out on SO MANY opportunities. Stepping back, acknowledging your bias, but choosing to instead examine more deeply the situation at hand can open countless new doors. 

  Barcelona was absolutely breathtaking, and I have so many more stories that I wish I could tell you, but that's too much writing and I'm lazy. So for now, I'm logging off. I miss you all. Every day is tinged with a bit of homesickness, but life is good regardless!

Arrivederci a tutti!
Leah