Monday, April 15, 2019
On Being a Woman
Young, old, tall, short, curvy and slender-- women of all kinds are traveling more than ever in this age of female empowerment and opportunity (YAASSSS LADIES). And this concept has received quite a bit of attention from the media, in both positive and negative ways. We now read and hear stories of both strength and horror, hope and pain. As a single, female, white, American traveler, I have pretty immediately encountered an interesting dynamic while adventuring alone. One one side of the equation, there is this fierce desire for independence, change, and freedom-- a chance to prove to yourself and to the rest of the world that you are strong/capable enough to take care of yourself out there. On the other side, there is quite a bit of fear, worry, anxiety, and overzealous preparation for any possible catastrophe. It's exhausting.
Traveling abroad alone, I spend an equal amount of time with both sides. Part of me is ready to take on the world, meet new people, and prove that I am stronger than the sexism, the harassment, the discouragement. However, another part of me leaves my little Florentine apartment everyday quietly wondering if today will be the day that I am the unfortunate woman announced missing on national news because the wrong people noticed me. Just the other day, the New York Times published an article on single female travelers that, while very informative, definitely contributed to that night's bad sleep.
To be completely honest, being a young woman makes my traveling experiences both extremely challenging/ stressful, but also rewarding/ unique. I have yet to decide whether that is a good or bad thing. I don't have any super deep observations to make in this post, but rather, I just wanted to share with you all a little bit of my personal experiences traveling as a young woman abroad.
(Keep in mind that all the experiences and thoughts below are also strongly impacted by my race, my age, my ethnicity, how I look, how I speak, etc. etc. etc- i.e: these things haven't just happened because of my gender/sex)
(Also, I am only speaking from my perspective and my point of view- every single person has their own perspectives on the things I talk about below)
1.) Men and woman in general find it easier to interact with me and my girlfriends than with my guy friends, which obviously has its pros and cons.
When traveling, or when walking around Florence, I do receive a lot of attention. and most of it is usually not wanted. I cannot tell you all how many times I have been whistled at, cat-called, and followed. I have gotten very good at ignoring the comments, or putting on as mean a face as I can, in the hopes that I won't be noticed or called out. It's pretty tiring to deal with day in and day out. There are times when men will just come up to me and pester me with random questions, not caring to consider if they are interrupting something I am doing or if I don't actually want to talk to them (what a shocking concept). My friends and I are often stopped by guys asking us questions about ourselves, irregardless of what we might be doing at that time, and will not leave until we either give them answers or run from them (which we have done a few times- ya girl could be a track star soon). I've started to develop a pretty convincing fake identity whenever I am approached by random men (my alter ego's name is Lauren. She's from Ottawa, Canada and she has a boyfriend in the Navy Seals--it works like a charm every time).
On the bright side, I feel that being a young woman with my kind of personality (because not every woman is like me obviously) makes me a much more approachable person, and that has resulted in some extremely fascinating and wonderful interactions. I have met so many new people partly because they are comfortable enough to approach and talk to me. Being a woman gives me an advantage when meeting people, women specifically. If I was a man, I don't think that I would have met Beatrice from Spain, a couple from India, or a mother and daughter from Asia.
2.) Traveling abroad as a young woman makes you extra cautious.
This is both exhausting and rewarding. Being a young woman, I am EXTREMELY aware of what bad things could happen to me at any moment. My friends and I spend so much time planning out preventative measures before we go anywhere. We are constantly watching over each other, making sure that no one travels alone, having check-in buddies, etc. etc. There are things we think about that our male peers (generally) don't even consider. And it is so exhausting. It honestly feels like a full-time job trying to make sure you are safe when you travel. There should be SO MANY more women in the security/protection work force because most women are experts by the time they're fifteen lol.
But being extra sensitive to safety issues also means that I am...well... extra safe. Or at least as safe as I can possibly be within my own power.
3.) Adventuring alone teaches you how to be brave.
You ever heard that phrase "strong, independent woman"? Well-whoever you are- if you want to become one, an excellent way to do so is to travel alone, because you are forced to become one quickly. I have been a push-over for a good part of my life- someone who wants to keep everyone happy, even if at the cost of my own comfort. After this study abroad experience, I don't think that's as much the case any more. I don't worry so much about some random man's feelings if I tell him to get the heck away from me. I am more vocal now about what makes me uncomfortable. I have learned to advocate for myself more, because if I didn't learn it, safety would be much more challenging. These lessons would probably have not been learned quite so early in life if I had not started traveling alone.
4.) There is more pressure on women to blend in to the culture.
I have noticed, both in comments by my Italian friends and in actions of vendors and locals here that women are much more pressured to conform to their respective culture's standards than men are. A friend of mine from Ukraine, for example, told me of a time a street vendor tossed a 5 cent coin at her, stating she was barely worth that much money because of how shamefully she presented herself (she was wearing a skirt to her knees). When I am traveling, it is generally for my own safety and peace-of-mind that I try to dress and adhere as closely to the culture as possible.
Having such external pressure to blend into the culture can be a positive thing, however, in that it makes it much easier to begin to acclimate to your new surroundings and make friends. If I were to behave in my fully-American way here in Italy, I don't think that I would have met nearly so many Italians. Having that kind of pressure forces me to become more culturally aware.
There are honestly so many more observations and stories I could put down here, but the top four are the most prominent experiences that I have had this semester. What I have experienced abroad will probably be extremely different from what a woman of color or an older woman might experience while traveling alone. I don't speak for every woman, just from my own perspective. Traveling alone is really scary sometimes. And that fear can make it exhausting: you are on edge every hour of every day. Reading about the sexual assaults, kidnappings, and murders of female travelers doesn't make that fear any less at all. But, as with most things in life, fear cannot be stronger than willpower, or else life is not lived to the fullest. I would not be growing so much, meeting such interesting people, or seeing the beauty of this earth if I let that worry be all-consuming. I just felt like giving ya'll my take on the matter.
Until next time,
Leah
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Leah,
ReplyDeleteI have really enjoyed reading you blog posts this semester, and am very glad to hear that you and your friends are safe and having a good time! This article was very interesting to read and is very relatable. You made some very good points about safety, traveling, and how that relates to being a female. Recently in our globalization class, we have began to talk about intercultural communication competence. This is defined by Dr. Perruci as, "a symbolic exchange process between persons of different cultures". It also can be described as face to face interactions among diverse cultures. Diving deeper into this chapter it mentions of one specific pattern of communication being "ignoring difference". This pattern is characterized by participants who choose to "focus on similarities rather than differences". In your blog post you had mentioned that you felt women were more approachable, and had been approached more often, than men. Do you feel that there are any differences between cultures that would make other travelers not want to approach you besides your choice of clothing/ behavior? If you have not experienced this, can you provide an example as to what differences may make an American traveler un-approachable? Do people tend to focus more on commonalities?
Hope you have a great time on the rest of your trip!
-Dani Reed
Hey Leah!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy keeping up with you and your European adventures! I find this specific blog post to be so relevant and so necessary in today's society. Even in America, we are constantly hearing stories of women and girls disappearing while running or getting into the wrong car thinking it is their Uber.
Intuitively, it might be difficult to see how the situations you describe above relate to global leadership. However, I feel as if with what we have been learning this semester, several connections can be made. The most prominent, in my opinion, is the view of the Western world context. As we have continued learning throughout the leadership courses, in Western society, leadership is viewed as a prize. I feel as if maybe these predators of women and girls feel as if they are "leaders" trying to garner the "prize". While this concept is sickening and hopefully not true, I can't help but wonder if this is what the Western world has taught these individuals.
With all this being said, I do have a question for you. Do you feel as if this type of treatment is worse in the European countries than it would be for a foreign women or girl traveling alone in the United States?
I hope you continue to have a blast while abroad!
Katie McIlroy
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI have enjoyed reading your post and learning about your adventures all across Europe. I am curious as to what experience you have had with technology in Italy. In leadership, we recently read a chapter about leading in the new millennium and one thing it addressed was technology's ever growing role in life. I am wondering as to if your professors over there use it any more or less than professors here and what impact that has on you as a student. Also, technology has obviously played a role in keeping you connected with people in the states; do you think you would have gone to Italy if you did not have the ability to contact home easily?
I hope you continue to enjoy your experience,
Madison McCormick
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoy reading your blog posts and I am so glad to hear that all is well. One of the chapters that we read in Dr. Perruci's book was "Competencies of a global leader" and it touched on many interesting topics including Implication for global leadership at the individual level. In this section, Perruci talked about how leveraging diversity as a transcultural competence requires openness and flexibility. It then went further to discuss how if we think of difference as an opportunity for learning as opposed to creating diversity, the impact would be much more beneficial. As a student studying abroad do you believe embracing the differences and taking each moment to learn and grow has helped you? Along with this, if you experienced "culture shock" do you think that it was a humbling experience that also allowed you to grow?
I hope you continue to travel and enjoy your study abroad experience,
Addie
Leah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for speaking so honestly towards your experiences as a woman traveling abroad! You mentioned how women are expected to blend in to the cultures that they traveling in. In LEAD 203, we talk about leveraging diversity and inclusion at the organizational level by doing things such as appointing qualified leaders and celebrating holidays from different cultures. However, these practices do not translate well to one-on-one interactions with strangers. I would be interested to hear your thoughts on how you 'leverage' diversity while traveling since the time horizon seems much shorter and the goals are not as clearly defined.
Best,
Eric K.
Hi Leah,
ReplyDeleteHope all is well! I really enjoyed reading this post and the insights you hinted at, especially as a fellow female. I found it very interesting that you said women have more of a pressure to blend to the culture and that because of that you tend to dress closer to the culture's standards rather than in ways you would back home. Recently in class, we discussed developing intercultural communication competencies, such as understanding nonverbals. I believe your insights in this post do an excellent job of paying to some of these nonverbals, such as the example of the women getting a coin thrown at her. In the chapter we are given some examples of action steps to help develop these competencies. As this article indicates that you have been working on these competencies this whole semester, what have you found to be most effective in understanding and overcoming the difficulties in intercultural communication?
Enjoy the rest of your trip,
Kate
Hey Leah,
ReplyDeleteSomething we discussed in class was the idea of managing intercultural conflict. Dr. Perruci’s book defines intercultural conflict as “perceived or actual incompatibility of values, norms, process, or goals between a minimum of two cultural parties over content, identity, relational, or procedural issues” (Perruci 172). First, I wondered if you would categorize the incident between your friend and the street vendor you reference as an intercultural conflict based on this definition. It appears to me that it is both a material and a symbolic intercultural conflict because it is about what she is wearing but that boils down to a difference in values and female identity. Second, I found it interesting that the alter ego you developed was also from a western culture but seemed to interact in the situations you referenced better; that would suggest it is less of a cultural issue. Any thoughts regarding that?
Enjoy your time,
Katie Kitchen
Hi Leah!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are thoroughly enjoying your time in Italy! I understand your thoughts and comments regarding female presence and the hardships that sometimes come with it when traveling or in a new area. I feel as if the impact a global leader has made regarding his/her female counterparts directly affects how female are seen and treated within the culture surrounding them. Do you think females are represented respectfully, atleast where you're located? I know you said that you have been cat-called and feel pressured to fit in but does that accurately describe how the "leaders" view women or is that just a common theme/practice in the area in which you are located?
Side note - In Dr. Perruci's class we have discussed artificial intelligence recently - I know you don't cover this topic (in this post) but have you had any experiences with AI while in Italy?
Enjoy yourself, my momma loved Italy when she visited!
Olivia
Hi Leah,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this post. You talked about many things that, as a woman, I had never really considered in regard to traveling. In class last week, we talked about different ways to manage intercultural conflict. I was wondering if you, individually, had experienced any instances, even possibly with your friends, where intercultural conflict came into play? I know that you mentioned feeling the need to conform to the different cultural values depending on where you were, but I am curious if you you were always able to adjust well enough, or if it would pose a threat to your safety if you did have a miscommunication; not that being somewhat harassed by foreign men is not enough intercultural conflict.
I also enjoyed your comments about how to become a "strong, independent woman". I, as well, consider myself to be a bit of a push-over, so I may have to look into some traveling opportunities!
It's nice to hear from you- stay safe :)
Katie Conkle
Hey lovely Lady,
ReplyDeleteI remember that when I traveled to Iceland with my sister we were both a little leery and cautious when we would go from place to place. I think that it is so great that you are able to have found wonderful friends and that you seem to handle yourself very well while on your own! You go girl!! I noticed too that in Iceland my sister and I seemed to be more approachable than groups of traveling men in regards to other tourists asking us to take photos or just having a chat with another group of travelers. I know that you have an amazing and outgoing personality so its no shock to me that you are flourishing. While you have been overseas I know that you haven't mentioned it directly but you did say that you feel a big pressure to conform to the culture. Do you find that you have felt pressured to be less of your outgoing self in public and does this concern you when it comes to the betterment of women? Also, I think that it is awesome that you are always out and about and drawing! When you are out on your adventures and taking a minute to relax and draw do you find that you need to be with others to make yourself feel safer or do you not really experience any conflict? Also do you happen to find yourself changing the culture of your Italian friends and intermixing cultural norms?
Best of wishes in you ending weeks,
Torri Clarchick
Hello my fabulous Leah! I was definitely surprised by your most recent post when you suggested that women are pressured into blending into their surrounding culture. In your post, you wrote that because of such pressures, you are adhering to the presented culture closely. During class, we similarly discussed what inter-cultural communication is and how does one practice it. Within this chapter, we dove into the five patterns of communication: ignoring difference; embracing difference; resisting difference; fighting difference; and transforming difference (Perruci 145).
ReplyDeleteIgnoring difference: participants focus on similarities rather than differences
Embracing difference: participants seek out and celebrate differences
Resisting difference: participants are not willing to change
Fighting difference: participants move from resistance to aggression
Transforming difference: participants acknowledge both similarities and differences
Out of the five patterns of communication, which would you say you are employing when you are faced with external pressures to conform?
XOXO,
Emily Smith
Hello Leah!
ReplyDeleteI loved this blog post because of how relatable it is to me as a fellow woman who enjoys to travel. I am very interested in the section of your post where you talk about the pressures to conform to local culture. In class we have been talking about how important it is for one to recognize and adapt to local culture. I have been viewing this as a positive way for one to learn and grow within a new culture. However, I had never considered the not-so-positive aspects of this. Your example about changing your clothing to adapt to the local climate is difficult for me to come to terms with. On one hand it is important to show the locals that you recognize their style and want to emulate it. However, I feel as if this also strips you of your personal identity. I know there is a balance of adapting to local culture while still remaining "Leah from Marietta College". This balance can be achieved through creating a "Global Mindset" which enables you to "integrate several cultural norms into a new map" (Perruci 133). How well are you doing at balancing this cultural dilemma? Have you began to develop your own "global mindset"?
Hi Leah!
ReplyDeleteThis post, unfortunately, was frighteningly relatable. It seems that women face similar kinds of problems as in the United States, even in an entirely different country with a different culture like Italy. Several people have mentioned the idea of a "global mindset," in which you adapt your way of thinking to include other cultures. I wondered what your thoughts were on Italian culture; specifically, if the culture in question disagrees fundamentally with your values (like women's rights and the way women should be treated), should you still try to adapt it into your global mindset? Is it possible to adapt to a culture that treats you differently because of your gender?
Additionally, you mentioned how as a woman, you felt more pressure to conform to the more conservative culture. Do you believe that is because of the way the Italian culture views women, or because of the way the world views women as a whole? It is common knowledge that women around the world are criticized based on their appearance. Does the Italian culture exacerbate the problem, or is that just the way it is everywhere in the world?
Sarah
Hi Leah,
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear from you again! I have loved reading your posts about your adventures this semester. I found your insights about women and the pressure established upon them to blend into culture very intriguing. What stuck out most was when you mentioned a friend of yours having a coin thrown at her because her skirt was too short, or at least not of normal length as deemed by the culture. In class we have been discussing global competencies, one being developing a global mindset. One mindset discussed that this situation reminds me of is the parochial mindset. Loosely, Perruci says this mindset is resistant of change from other cultures because the changes are not normal to that culture (161). I think your friends situation parallels this mindset because her skirt was ultimately not normal for her to be wearing, considering the culture and types of people around her, though it was normal to her. The vendor can be related to someone who operates in this mindset considering his action towards your friend.
Another mindset discussed was the international mindset that recognizes that there are different versions of normal, along with the global mindset which involves adaption to other cultures. (Perruci 161). I think you have showed a great example of a global mindset in your adaptations to the way women are supposed to dress in that culture, compared to how you would normally dress. Kudos to you girl! It so cool to see a peer of mine literally doing what we are reading about in our book! My question for you though regarding mindsets is, do you think that at the very least if people cannot achieve a global mindset or do not strive to, that people everywhere should have an international mindset and an awareness that there are different types of normal based on culture? Seems to me the vendor certainly did not, I wonder if her did, would he have thrown the coin at your friend?
Always wishing you safe and happy travels!
Theresa
Hi Leah,
ReplyDeleteI hope that you aren't having too many sleepless night thinking about these scary things. I know they are common and can happen to anyone but your awareness is the first step to staying as safe as possible. It is interesting that you bring up the fact that you get a lot of unwanted attention from random men as you're walking around with your friends. Do you think this is an intercultural conflict. I am somewhat thinking it could relate with cultures because maybe those men see you as inferior and think that they can disrespect you in that way? Or maybe just the traditions are different and they are not aware that they are disrespecting you? In class we have been talking a lot about intercultural conflict and I would love to hear your opinion on this!
Stay safe and enjoy your last few days,
April
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed your blog. I found it exceptionally thoughtful how you saw your identifies influencing your communications, which is something Dr. Perruci talks about in his book. In the same chapter about intercultural communication, he also talks about verbal and nonverbal communication. You mentioned a lot of times experiences you've had with verbal communication. Have you noticed any differences in nonverbal communication or had times where nonverbal clues made you aware of anything you might have missed with only verbal communication?
Thanks,
Ashley Klopfenstein
Leah,
ReplyDeleteThis post is something I can heavily relate to. Although, when I traveled abroad in Italy, back when I was a little younger and definitely not alone, the women on the trip were treated a fair bit different than the men. Our restrictions on how far we could travel (always in groups) was stricter than groups of guys. Blending in more than the men was not outright implied, but covertly encouraged.
Returning to the idea of managing intercultural communication and conflict, do you think the varying cultural "ideas" surrounding women could have something to do with this push to blend. Pulling from the behavioral skills mentioned in Dr. Perruci's book. the ones that have you being able to adapt to any cultures style of communication, how big do you perceive the difference to be between Italian and American? In my visit abroad during a home stay, my host Francesca took me out around the town with a group of her friends ( all women and all the same age as me) without restrictions. After talking with them, we came to the consensus that to them their views of American women were more timid than themselves. Of course this doesn't apply to all Italian culture or women, but do you think women traveling around the world, at least coming from America, are expected to blend in more to avoid being duped or misled due to the perception that they are timid? Sorry for my long post. Hope all is well,
Lo
Hi Leah!!
ReplyDeleteI've loved keeping up on your blog and am so happy (and extremely envious) that you're having a lovely time in Italy and being careful! Dr. Perruci mentions intercultural comm as a chapter and discusses verbal and nonverbal differences. What have you seen in nonverbal differences between US citizens and Italians?
Enjoy you remaining time!! We missed you at the welcome event for 5SC tonight and are very excited to introduce you to the team!!
Liz Reed
Hi Leah!
ReplyDeleteI have thoroughly enjoyed living through your blog the past couple months and I'm glad you seem to be having such an amazing experience for the most part! I thought this post in particular was eye-opening to a lot of readers, including myself. I had a question regarding one of your main points in this update:
Do you think the men and women who come up to you and your friends, cat-call, whistle, etc. at you in the various places you've traveled do this partly because they can sense you're not from their area? Do you think the fact that you are a "tourist" in these areas has an influence on how much attention (or borderline harassment!) that you and your friends receive from people native to the area? Why or why not?
Continue to stay safe during your travels! I look forward to any future posts.
- Kylee McBride
Hi Leah!
ReplyDeleteI tried posting this last week and it doesn't look like it made it up, but I have loved following you adventures! You seem to be having incredible experiences! This post stuck out me and wanted your opinion on women in leadership positions in other countries. Do you think equality of leadership positions is more of an American movement? Do other cultures emphasize equality of leadership positions as much as Americans do?
If not, do you think women as a whole stick together even more to create a more supportive environment and how does this play into leadership?
Hope you continue to have a blast! Stay safe!
-Beth Lebar
HEY LEAH!!
ReplyDeleteI love this in-depth analysis on the true hardships you're experiencing as a woman abroad! I really enjoyed your quote "fear cannot be stronger than willpower, or else life is not lived to the fullest." I think that describes the type of attitude needed in order to handle being away from home for so long perfectly, and you definitely have it in you!
I am hoping that you are still enjoying your experiences, I have really enjoyed watching all of your crazy cool adventures on your other social media platforms. Do you think that the global power of social media is a pro or con when studying abroad? Do you find yourself enjoying studying more when you are disconnected, or when you can share your experiences with your friends from the states back home?
Love and miss you, see you soon!
Audrey Albright
Hey Leah!!
ReplyDeleteI find this post fascinating as a woman, and love hearing how you have adapted to this type of culture! During your time in Florence, would you say you have fluctuated in how you have dealt with the culture change? For instance, do you find yourself sticking to the cultural norms of Italy or the United States more often? Are there special circumstances that cause you to have to decide which norm you will conform to or do you find yourself with sticking to one the majority of the time?
Love hearing about your experiences and your personal growth throughout this trip! Be safe!
Aubrey Teer